I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
