The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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