on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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