I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
