Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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