i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I need moral support for this bender
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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