sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
