I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
