I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize