I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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