from now on my penis is your penis
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
