i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
