hotel room ftw
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
