i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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