new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
