had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Panties = found
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
