bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
