I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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