He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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