i don't like sucking hair
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Let's get the cat blown out
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
