So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
