There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize