My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
