So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
