Having a random hookup so left but love u
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
