All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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