im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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