Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
