Non-Jews are for practice
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
