Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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