I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
