You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
