just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize