Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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