I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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