I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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