am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
