Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize