i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
