I just cut my nipple shaving
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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