i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
