Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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