her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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