I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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