I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
well you can't waste a boner
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
