i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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