I puked a lego.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
