the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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