Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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