Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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