We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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