If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
