I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
