Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
