Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm like, not good at living.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
