Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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