I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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