Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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