The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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