i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
