party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
