Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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