We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize