I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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