matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
