So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
